Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
