it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
