I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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