it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize