Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
