your thong is hanging out like whoa
What a fucking waste of an outfit
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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