I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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