Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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