Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
