I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
did you just send me my own nude
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
