He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
