just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
