end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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