and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
