I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
