Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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