remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
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Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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