I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
