Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
