he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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