I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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