my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
