I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
