I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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