I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
