Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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