I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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