with your own penis?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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