hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
