there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
