Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
we should paint friendship bongs
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