They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
