Having a random hookup so left but love u
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They took my balls.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
