Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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