oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize