There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need water and some morals
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
