Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
