You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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