He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
sex in a hospital.. check
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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