Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
