Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
