The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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