So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
