Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
