She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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