i may or may not be watching the land before time
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
