Its about making memories worth repressing
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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