I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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