Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
