Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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