New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
there is glitter all over my balls
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