I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize