btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
