I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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