Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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