I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
