girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
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Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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