You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
