Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
