hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
