Your mouth is God's brothel.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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