Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
